Thursday, March 31, 2011

Ying and Yang, Light and Dark, Real and Make Believe....

Ying and Yang, Light and Dark, Real and Make Believe.... they are all part of one. A single harmony consisting of the balance of opposites.

[cue: Polar Opposites from Modest Mouse].... linked right below :) x

This has been a struggle, a question, a wonderance of mine for the past few months... How to be my real self in and all. The good and the bad. Someone recently told me that when you know someone, you really only know a fraction, no matter how well or how long you have know them. I feel for myself, that is truly the case for everyone who has met me, never the less those whom I have met.
I want to be honest about myself, but I'm a complete mess! And I'd like to further my career, so being a mess isn't so allowed... or so I thought.
This would probably be more appropriate as a journal entry, but it's weighing on my mind so much these days and ties directly with this blog, I feel posting is acceptable decision. The best, maybe not, but acceptable none the less.
I originally called this blog "Excess" 'cause once upon a time, an English friend of mine said if he were to sum me up in one word that word would be "excess". I love my pleasures. The natural, the man made, the sweet, the savory, the spinning, the highs, the mellows, the pills, the drinks, the music, the art, imagination, work, plans, humanity.... On the flip side, I started this blog to promote and make aware the projects I'm beginning to be involved with.
The 2 don't necessarily go together, is my point, I suppose. Or they do... but only fragments of each. According to this, there's the educator in me, who loves working with small children, the traveler who has no money yet continues to see natural wonders, the vulnerable girl who misses her friends and family like crazy, the vagabond who seems to move at the drop of a dime, but missing is the darker half.
Maybe it's better that way?
I just saw some lyrics somewhere where all in caps it said, "Im passing out high fives to all those who can keep their own secrets." I believe it was Los Campesinos.
Something about that quote truly resonated with me.
The largest developmental battle I've been facing as of late is this: When occurrences or people make you unhappy, do you express your unhappiness in a polite and civilized manner, or do you change a bit of yourself to accept such hurdles and practice unconditional understanding and acceptance of all that is around you, since you are the only thing you have even the slightest bit of control over...? Or better put, the slightest right to have nay control over.
I'm not sure what I'm getting at.. I suppose I just feel it's appropriate to let it be known that life's not perfect. Especially not mine. I will always do my best to supply only the brightest of occurrences in the hopes that no one worries, no one is brought down by my words; and if life is simply our perception, to create a perception where beauty out weighs the negativity we are surrounded with many a times, be it from our personal dramas to the media to any other source of informatory matter.

I think I'll stop here. Hoping to obtain some photo editing software soon enough and put what Im trying to say into an album, as images are much more pleasing and informative than any of my words will ever be.

1 comment:

  1. Very well put. I relate deeply. Much love! xxxx