Transition Time. Heading to Chiang Mai for an interview/observation at a newly established Montessori school. Am beyond excited about the possibilities and opportunities that will surely unfold as time goes on, but simultaneously frightened beyond reason.
I am aware of my strengths. I am also aware of my weakness'. I worry to return to the land of normality and be exiled for my lack of care towards the dirt in my fingernails or the coffee stain on my skirt. The permanent addition of flowers to my skin also make the journey, whilst more aesthetically pleasing, shaky for fear of being misunderstood. I'm good at what I do and my ideas, when combined with the right people, succeed and have the potential of becoming something larger, something visible, something tangible.
But, alarm clocks and dress codes and mood swings and deadlines... these are part of a world I want nothing to do with.
Many would say this is a juvenile approach to reality, I even said that. However, the more I toy with it, the more I realize, it's not at all. It's simply a healthy recognition. I know myself. And I'm the only person who has to live with myself. If I am going to remain happy and open to the world, I need my work to compliment my being and my being to compliment my work. This idea shouldn't be so foreign.
The position is for a toddler classroom, 4 hours a day, 5 days a week. The school just opened and they say they are in need of someone with a strong background in Montessori to help lay all the pieces in the right place. They also happen to be in touch with the Burmese Refugee Project whose aim is to build schools for Burmese refugee children. This is how I will hopefully be spending my evenings.
Aside from the job, the owner has been very generous and enthusiastic about my arrival. We've spoken about my conducting a teacher's training as well as being an unofficial mentor to the current instructor there. They've also offered to house me with family and help me obtain a visa by enrolling in Thai language school. If all this is to happen then all the pieces of my plan will have fallen into place.
It's a frightening time when all of a sudden ideas are forced into action. Even with Art I pause at these times. The actual recording, or executing a shoot, or simply showing my work to others. It's the same in my professional life. Giving the lessons, planning the parties, meeting with parents... Goodness.
I hope they like me.